Divorce And Addiction: How To Get Help With Your Marriage

That’s why we wrote a new ebook that we are announcing today. It’s about our struggles to survive alcoholism recovery and hold our marriage together. A Spouse’s Guide to Alcoholism Recovery, Sheri and I worked together to write our new ebook from her perspective. It is her story of learning to love me again, and it covers topics we never imagined we would face when I got sober and started on the path to beating my disease. It’s beneficial for you to learn about substance use disorder, including how it affects both your partner as well as yourself. This may help you to understand SUD and how addiction works, which can help you separate your partner and the disease.

Tips for providing support

Consider seeking mental health support for yourself. A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. If you are filing for a contested divorce after sobriety divorce, it is a good idea to speak with a lawyer. Usually, for a contested divorce you and your spouse will have to go Supreme Court several times before the Judge can decide the issues you disagree with.

But there is damage done that no amount of time or patience will fix.

It’s estimated that eighty percent of child abuse and neglect cases are linked to substance use. In striving to mend the relationship, each partner will likely need to overcome these negative behaviors. Both therapy and counseling, inside or outside of treatment, can help with these concerns. Hello Divorce Inc. is not a law firm and its website as well as technology-enabled self-help services and forms are not a substitute for the advice of an attorney. Blank divorce forms with written instructions may be available on your state or local court website. Communications between you and Hello Divorce are governed by our Privacy Policy but are not covered by the attorney-client or work product privileges.

How to Stay Connected to Your Religion and Church during Divorce

Without the proper support system, these substances can take center stage within a person’s life and quickly accelerate to addiction. I’ve often asked why the children of alcoholics so commonly marry alcoholics themselves, and I’ve consistently received one of two responses. Sometimes, the daughters of alcoholic fathers marry alcoholics because they have unfinished business and want to save their husbands in ways they weren’t able to save their fathers. My father-in-law died of cancer probably brought on by his excessive alcohol consumption. One of our very first dates was to his funeral.

Having to get a divorce is unfortunate, to say the least. It can be heartbreaking and devastating, but it sometimes is the only choice you have as the non-addict. This is especially true when there are children involved because they need a stable adult around. When addiction is present, both parents are unavailable and there is little or no stability and consistency. The threat of divorce is not usually enough to get an addict in the throes of their addiction to stop.

• I didn’t destroy our finances and I was never arrested.
• You may feel out of control emotionally or paralyzed by the shock.
• According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), couples in which at least one partner lives with substance use disorder are often more unhappy than other couples.
• The time alone gave me space to do my own soul work and attend to my own life.
• It is always a good idea to speak with an attorney about your specific case, before filing any papers with the court.

I never lost a job, never got into a bar fight and we almost completely shielded our children. When I got sober, I thought I had avoided major calamity. I wasn’t afraid of the work of recovery, and I thought I was going to make it out of addiction unscathed.

If you love an alcoholic or addict, you know how terrible the disease of addiction can be and you are indirectly impacted. If you are married to an addict or alcoholic, not only do you suffer from watching the person you love go down the tubes, you are directly affected. I’ve found statistics that indicate a 20% increase in divorce rate for couples dealing with alcoholism in the marriage. The overall divorce rate in the United States is roughly 50%, and it makes sense that addiction to alcohol adds significant challenges for couples to overcome in order to stay together. It can take time to recover your marriage during the recovery process, but support is available. Professional treatment can help you and your partner cope with the negative effects of substance use.

Alcohol’s Effect On Marriage

Many books address the challenges of an individual getting sober from substance use disorders. However, it is rare to read a book that integrates the parallel recovery process that is necessary for couples in which one individual is in sobriety and the other is not. The methods used within treatment may vary depending on the state of a person’s marriage. If a person is pursuing treatment not only for themselves but as a way to heal their marriage, the program should be designed with this in mind. Rehabilitation programs that promote individualized methods may be helpful for those struggling with both alcohol and drug addiction. It is important for both parties to evaluate the role addiction has taken in the relationship.

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